We went on to the Cuddalore timber depot and I spent quite some time there selecting the teak logs that I needed. The Mother sat quietly in the car watching me all the time. Then, when my selection was complete and the price, etc. settled, She called me to Her and asked if I had all I needed. I said, "Yes." Then She pointed to a very large log lying in a far corner, a log of wide girth but not square. I had not chosen that log because of this reason and it was really not what I wanted. But the Mother said that the log had spoken to Her and had pleaded to be taken as it wanted to go to Her. I was again thrilled to hear this and immediately included that log in our selection at a special price. It was so large that I needed two carts to transport it to Pondicherry. I did not cut up the log. But some years later when I was to make furniture for the Mother's new room on the second floor, I cut up the log as I knew it would be happy to go to Mother.

-Udar-

When the furniture, well polished with wax (not French Polish) was installed, Mother gave me another great privilege - that of looking after, cleaning and polishing the furniture. I was permitted one hour a day for this. This is how I came into daily persona] contact with Sri Aurobindo. Except at the Darshans I had not had personal contact before with Him.

Mother didn't fix any time, so I chose my own, nobody objected and Sri Aurobindo didn't object also. Every day I used to go for about an hour or so. And sometimes - not always - he would be dictating Savitri and I would be listening. Of course at that time I had not become so familiar with Savitri myself. Later on I became very much involved with Savitri, but not at that time. It was really very beautiful to hear him dictating; line after line, line after line, from a powerful inspiration; and Nirod was taking it down in long hand. And he would be reading it back to Sri Aurobindo.

Sri Aurobindo did not speak much or often but I heard Him on several subjects. He did not speak to me directly except a few times and the memory of this is very precious. I had, however a great good fortune of being able to make my private pranams to Him on Darshan days and lay my head in His lap and look closely into His eyes. But otherwise, except for being in His immediate presence for an hour each day I did not have close contact with Him.

One day, however, I found Him looking at me very closely and intensely with a love and compassion that surpasses all description. I was alone with Him at the time. I did not know why He was looking at me so, but I was so carried away with the joy and the love He showered on me in His look that I did not bother about the reason for it. It is only later, when comparing notes with others who served Him personally, that I discovered that He was bidding me a physical good-bye. He had done the same to others - each differently and, it seems, each one was puzzled at the time. But when He left us physically soon after that, we guessed the reason.

- Udar-

Writing tables to fit Sri Aurobindo's bed

him. She said, "Cartier-Bresson is going to take photographs. I am giving him permission. So you look after him. Do whatever he wants you to do."

He took photographs of the Darshan. Mother had specified that no flash was to be used. At that time we didn't have such powerful lenses. And he said to Mother, "\ regret that our present technology has not advanced so much to take a full beautiful picture in insufficient light. I'll do the best I can." And then he went to take pictures of Sri Aurobindo sitting in the chair. It was a wonderful and sweet experience, Sri Aurobindo sitting in the chair and I was by the side of the photographer. And he said, "Turn your head like this, look up, look that side, look this side..." Cartier-Bresson said he had never had a model like this who never moved or even blinked.

-Udar-